I have a drinking problem.

So, today. So much happened. Not really at work, but so much happened.

So, to start the morning off was an all-hands meeting. This mean that everyone in the company packs themselves into rooms to all huddle around a solitary conference speaker and projector to watch the CEO go through stuff. After the meeting is over, it is akin to “opening a can of sardines” Everyone was out of there in a second flat.

After that, it was time for lunch. It was a long meeting. So, I didn't have any cash, and had less than $20 in my bank account so I couldn't go to the ATM. I have a good amount of money in my savings account, and I was expecting a paycheck from work to come in to my checking account, so yea.

I just wanted to get cash back on my credit card at Walgreens, so I just grabbed the first cheap thing I saw in sight and got it. It happened to be a Pop Rocks fruit roll up. I went and checked it out at the register, and discovered I couldn't get cash back from my credit card. Oh well. I stuffed it in my pocket and went on.

I decided to walk and find a good place to eat. I ended up walking north, towards the tourist part of the city. The place with the huge McDonalds, Hard Rock Cafe, Rainforest Cafe, Harry Caray's, etc etc. All too expensive. Everything down there was at least $13-$15 for a good meal. For lunch, no less.

So, I stumbled across Sam's Grille, and got an Italian beef to go.

Then, I tried to find a place to sit down and eat. Apparently, in that part of the city, no one is concerned with sitting down. There are no places to sit. No benches, no nice little planter boxes, no nothing. I didn't feel like impaling my buttocks on the 3-foot-tall black fences that went around almost every imaginable planter box and tree, so I pressed on in search of a suitable bench to rest my legs and have a good little lunch.

No such luck. I a decided to start asking people where a “park” was, and the first lady laughed when I asked her, so I stopped asking people after the first person. What an adventure.

I ended up sitting down and eating in the huge McDonalds. As soon as I bit into my Italian Beef, I discovered that it was...

...filled with maggots.

No, just kidding. I found it to be filled with medeocracy. It wasn't good, and it wasn't awful. It tasted like Italian Beef, but on the other hand it also tasted like some mystery meat which had been reheated in the microwave for way too long.

Ho-Hum. I thought the fries would save the day, but they were a soggy, kinda chewy lump of fried potatoes. Blech. Oh well, live and learn. Only get Italian Beef at a place where the line is out the door.

This area didn't really feel like the cozy downtown area I worked in, it felt like an open, less organic, more contrived part of the city to lure people in. As I was pondering this thought to myself while sitting there in McDonalds, I saw a tour bus reading “See the city” on the side and it was filled with people. When it unloaded, it was like a mass exitus of a really bad amature paparazzi class. Teens were awkwardly angling their cell phones at buildings in hopes of an actual recognizable image being captured on their cell phone, grown adults were spinning around while pointing at stuff, and grandmas were rapidly spinning the clicking wheels on their disposable cameras in a mad fury against time. It was like the city of Chicago itself was going to drop off the planet at any second, never to be seen by mankind ever again. Folks, the buildings aren't moving...and if they are it's gotta be pretty dang windy in the Windy City. Take your time...man.

When I got back to work, I worked on a new script my boss gave me, and started going more advanced Keyword Queue management. Yay.

Also in the afternoon, they were doing construction, so the whole floor resonated with the buzz of a jackhammer. After the first blast of vibration and noise, a guy stood up and said, “Hey, did anyone hear that?”

So, I was talking with my boss and leaning against his cubicle, and as I walked away I felt the urge to feel my back pocket...and lo and behold...THE POP ROCKS FRUIT ROLLUP! Glorious! So, I rushed back to my desk, opened it, rolled open the fruit rollup, poured the pop rocks on the fruit rollup, rolled the fruit rollup back up (say that 10 times fast) and ate it. It was awesome. Kinda like a pop rocks burrito, except it was all candy. And, it fizzled and popped in my mouth. So, that was pretty much my mini happy moment of the day.

Yea, and I have a drinking problem. So, I'm in a dazed mood and drinking my Sprite Zero. Well, I didn't drink it quite yet. When I attempted to drink it, I spilled all over myself. What happens is, I tilt the can before it gets to my mouth. I mean, what normal person keeps the can perfectly level UNTIL it gets to their mouth, then tips it? It's like torture for a split second, you gotta wait until you are “allowed” to tip it.

Well...actually, normal people do that when the pop can is full. I'm not normal so I don't. I guess since I was engaging in a dead-on blank staring contest with my monitor (also accompanied by a dazed and confused mindset), I forgot to use my brain power to realize that the can was indeed full. So, I tipped the can before it reached my lips, pouring Sprite Zero everywhere. At least it didn't get my socks wet. I am still wondering how you can forget to use your brain since your brain does the forgetting, but whatever.

Sean (side note: does anyone read that in their brain as “Seen” instead of Shawn? I do...) saw me as I was wiping the mess up with my hands, and I said “It's just water with chemicals...not gonna hurt anything.” He replied, “That's what we all are...just water and chemicals.”

Yup, I have a drinking problem. I spill a lot. I guess I should go to Spiller's Anonymous.